"I know you understand what
you think I said, but I am not sure that you realise that what you heard is not
what I meant"
RICHARD NIXON
1. Always
begin by listening – it is
said we have 2 ears and 1 mouth and should use them in that proportion! By listening first we can ensure that what we
then say is:
ü on point
ü relevant
ü appropriate
ü clear
Remember…We
are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful about 75% of the time we should be
listening.
We listen
at 125-250 words per minute, but
think at 1000-3000 words per minute.
Immediately
after we listen to someone, we only recall about 50% of what they said.
Long-term,
we only remember 20% of what we
hear.
2. Less is more – Saying far more than you need to or over-communication, will
have the effect that the person you are talking to stops listening e.g. we tell
people in detail 'what we have to do to give them what they want'. But all
they need is 'what can you do for me, by when'.
3. Pitch, pace and tone – it is not just the words that you say that
matter – how you say them also has a significant impact on how your message is
received. Think about what is the most appropriate pitch, pace of speech and
tone of voice for what you are saying.
4. Avoid
jargon – or at
least explain it if it is necessary. Abbreviations or technical
jargon if they are not familiar with it will create barriers to listening as
they will spend time thinking what it means and so miss out on what is
being said next or will feel awkward or irritated that they don’t know what you
are talking about.
5. Think about the method of Communication. Do you write a
letter, send an email, leave a voicemail or speak to them on the phone or in
person. Experts say that written communication is good for information
and confirmation but not good for emotion
and discussion. Little wonder that if words are placed in bold
or CAPITAL LETTERS or BOTH in
emails, receivers understand it as shouting! Think about the
appropriateness of the method you are using – do you leave a voicemail when it
is something emotive or wait to speak in person?
6. Communicate in haste, repent … - it is never very successful if
we communicate in the heat of the moment, it is fair to say we usual regret
what we said and how we said it and wish we had waited a while to prepare what
we were going to say and for any heightened emotions to subside a little.
How many
times do we walk away from communication interactions thinking: "I
wish I hadn't said that" or "I didn't mean it the way it came out"?
Think
through the conversation beforehand:
·
What do I want to say?
·
How will I get a difficult message across?
·
How will I know they have understood what I am saying?
·
What reaction might I get?
·
How will I respond?
·
What outcome do I want from the conversation?
7. Body
language – it is well know that communication is a 3-part thing:
The words
you say (7%)
The way
you say it (38%)
The body
language that accompanies it (55%)
And the
one that has the biggest impact is the body language accompanying it. So
remember to use your body language to support what you are saying and not
detract from the message.
·
Have good
eye contact
·
Use open
gestures
·
Stand or
sit in an open and friendly manner – not closed up (folded arms, crossed legs
etc) or turned away
·
Don’t get
distracted by your mobile, what is going on out of the window etc
·
Use
listening noises to show that you are listening
·
Ask
questions to check understanding and summarise back what has been said to you
so you are showing you are listening and interested.
If you are interested in training
your managers or teams in effective communication then please get in touch –
enquiries@7hr-training.co.uk
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